Monday, May 4, 2009

Friday 4/24/09

I have become aware that my messages are being forwarded. This is great. Please continue to feel free to share our trial with any in the family of faith. We can sense the power of your prayers. You need to know that God is here with us in tangible ways.

This is how this week’s prayers have been answered.

I asked specifically for you to pray for our meeting with oncologist this Friday (today) Because of our trip to ER last weekend, this appointment was moved up to Monday. When we left Dr. Moore’s office, we knew we were in good hands.

With the help of our son-in-law, who is in line for angel wings, Mike saw the wisdom of the acceleration of the closing of the office. It is falling into place as attorneys come forward to help us.

Dr. Moore alluded to medical interventions that can offer some relief and buy some time but said that we would discuss none of this until Mike’s pain was under control. So this week was Pain Control.

That translated into a regime of morphine in various forms and strengths. And what that meant was my bright, coherent husband was transformed into a confused, drowsy, weak man. To be honest, I assessed the situation and wondered…this is new territory…that this is how it will be from now on.

Much sleeping, Much pain anyway. A fever. Not much good news.

Wed….nurse practioner appointment and she, under Dr.’s instruction, ‘tweaked’ the medicine, meaning she increased the dosages so even more weakness and confusion. But fever was gone plus, finally, blessedly, Mike got three good nights’ sleep, sleeping through pain.

During the week, several friends visited. One group arrived and stayed a long time. When I entered the room, thinking Mike needed me to save him, he was sitting up and they were all laughing. All good.

Still, we determined to venture out on a ‘trip’ and that was to Books A Million to purchase a magazine. THAT did him in. I was pretty low. We had been given the idea (no promise, of course) that Mike would return to his level of strength before surgery and we would have many good days ahead of us. THIS did not look like good days.

Friday’s appointment with Dr. Moore: I could tell by her tone of voice that she had said this before but we had not ‘gotten’ it. She said that they shared our idea of going to lake, enjoying life, bike riding, maybe even driving. She said that right now, Mike is having all sorts of bad effects from the morphine…”most of us are not used to morphine”…and that the negative effects will wear off as he adjusts to it. So the drowsiness, the confusion, the fatigue is temporary, at least for now.

She said that Mike was obviously better than he had been on Monday. I will defer to her professional judgment.

She then said that ‘people with your kind of cancer’ have responded to a specific chemo therapy that can shrink or slow tumor growth. There are statistics….cancer care/prognosis is All about percentages…but most are optimistic about Mike because, as they ALL say, “You are so healthy.” (the obvious exception)

Mike, who has ridden a roller coaster of emotions, says he’s interested in some more time. So, we will meet with Dr. Moore in two weeks to discuss other options.

What to pray for next: that the morphine side effects with dissipate and we can start enjoying life with energy. Isn’t it a gift that we have a beautiful spring weekend ahead of us? We are headed to our lake cottage at least for Saturday.

Pray that the blood work he has on May 4 will show none of what she calls a ‘cancer marker.’ Right now, with that nasty gall bladder gone, Mike shows ‘no sign of cancer.’ But it’s there, in microscopic bits (too technical for you?) and it will grow. Growth will bring pain and a limiting of enjoyment of activities. Pray that God will give us some more time.

We have circled May 8 on our calendar. Our nephew will graduate from tank driving school…it probably has a more military Lexington, KY. We’d love to be there. Perhaps, as it is a 4 hour drive, that will be doable. And if it is, we’re not too far from some beauty in the Smoky Mountains. A drive along the Blue Ridge in spring would be a gift, also.

So we are left today with hope and time. These terms have different meaning for us these days.

As they say down south, Carpe Diem, ya’ll.


As for visitors, yes yes yes. Call first as we plan to be out and about, cute couple that we are. Bring your happy face. All is not so bleak.

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