Friday, April 4, 2014

Rainy Days

So. Back from Texas. Rested. Got stuff to do. Able to do the stuff.

Hit a wall: I've had these days before. Sometimes, you wake up with your mind turning over with the list of 'must get done.' The list, written or not, is so lengthy. And there's no clear place to start. "Should I....?"  or "Go to the....?" "Call....?"  "Get those....?" So, the temptation is to just pull the covers over your head and quit.

Except I can't quit. There ARE things that must get done in a falling-dominoes kind of way. And then, a few unexpected items got thrown into the mix.

Doesn't help that all that snow has been replaced with COLD/WINDY/RAIN/PUDDLES and did I mention? GRAY SKIES.

So, I found myself in meltdown mold, even as I was enjoying a nice lunch with a good friend; after getting both Ivy and my hair done, another good friend offered a sweet reminiscence of Mike and after acknowledging it, I sat in my car and cried and cried.

I haven't shed too many tears since his passing, but once in a while, THE WHOLE THING just washes over me and leaves me so sad.

I could point to a few touch points....apparently, I messed up some estimated tax payments in June; yeah, yeah I had a lot on my plate but really! I've misplaced several important tax documents...they can be reissued but many people are on spring break so my calls haven't been returned. My tax guy is kind and patient and certainly wouldn't want me in distress. But I am.

Also, I flipped open the check register and looked at all those bland, boring entries...some written amidst  much stress and sadness....and it made me so sad.

I'm stretched right now between the Kokomo house and the Winona Lake cottage so I couldn't find my coat, my hoodie, anything warm for my shoulders on a day that called for something warm. And it made me sad.

And yes, I walk with God these days and He is leading me....I know I need to fall into His arms and let so much of this trivial stuff go.

So, after a fitful night...."I should just get up and pack something....but I'm so warm here...and it would disturb Ivy (who I had taken into bed for comfort)"...I got up this morning, made the bed, dressed and began the agenda.

You know, it never bothered me much that at school, I often had to tackle multiple tasks, in random order, and without the satisfaction of START - FINISH on the first trial. This is so much like that.

So, a quick prayer. A deep breath. Splash of cold water (not rain). Back on track.

1 comment:

  1. As I was reading, all I could think was,"Deep breaths" and then you got there on you own. That said, there's nothing wrong with an occasional P.J. day to get re-centered.