Is THIS 4th grade??

Ok, I spend (t) my time with 17 year-olds. LOVE high school juniors. I've always said that this is the best year in high school so as their teacher, I get to see them at their best. They are invested in getting to graduation; they've begun to see the goal and what lies beyond; they join the clubs, excel in the sports, run the newspaper; and they've matured just enough to be really clever.

But elementary? I guess I forgot. I've spending a few weeks with two AMAZING grade schoolers. And it's about Drew, the 4th grader, that I want to chat.

He's a reader. He's been a reader. Mom mentions that she restricts their media time and sends them out to play. They ride bikes and run around after homework. And when bed time comes, both curl up with a book or two until they turn out the light.

Last week, with the 4th grader, it was something every day. "We learned about idioms today. Do you know what an idiom is?"

Tell me.

"It's sayings like "push your buttons,"and "getting up on the wrong side of the bed."

That's right. Then, later, we asked again. He came up with several more.

Then it was metaphors and similes. "We learned about these today."

Oh, really? Your gamma was STILL teaching this to kids 8 years older than he is.

"Yes." (Mom taught them to say YES, not yeah. Andy is teaching them to say, "Yes, ma'am."  Like proper Texans.

"Rain is like tears."

Again, later, we asked. He got another.

Then, I was reading and came across the word "metaphor." Always the teacher, I called Drew over and pointed out the word. "See, here it is."

This was not enough. "But why? What is your book about? What's the metaphor?"

So I read to him.... he read with me... about putting on the whole armor of God.  "OH, so the part of the armor are things like 'truth.'"

Yes, that's right.

It makes my head spin, he is learning so much so fast. And, I'm having a ball.

HUGS: Recognizing the Gifts

I have a friend who faithfully practices “Take it to the Lord in prayer.” Big things. Little things. Seemingly insignificant things.

 I, on the other hand, have struggled with this. I have found myself evaluating my needs and placing many in the ‘handle it, Big Girl’ column. I mean, God’s got the universe to run, right? And He has gifted us with brains and reasoning. We don’t need to bother Him with minutia. That used to be my mindset.

Once, my friend and I were working together, along with 10 other women, on a project, getting ready for a weekend retreat. Many trips back and forth to our cars, emergency runs to the store, and so forth. Each of us had our duties and many of us helped each other.

At one point, as I ran past my friend, she grabbed the arm of my sweater and pulled me back to her. Her eyes filled with panic. “I can’t find my keys,” she said. “I need to get into my car to get the posters and napkins and then I have to pick up my daughter and drive her to a friend’s house for the weekend. But I can’t find my keys!”

As I have many friends who multi-task and suffer from occasional brain hiccups, I own a practiced response. “Where were you last? When did you see them last? What were you doing just before you misplaced them?” This causes us to retrace our steps and focus the mind on a picture of the lost items where we last saw them.

Pulled from my own tasks, I wanted to calm her down and then get on with what I had to do. She did not give me a chance. “Pray with me, Lynne,” she said, as she slid her hand down my arm and clasped my hand.

My mouth gapped as she closed her eyes. “God,” she said, “I can’t find my keys. I need my keys. You know where they are. You can see them. Please help me find my keys.” She opened her eyes. The panic was gone.

Because I was already cocked with my memory platitudes, I drew a breath to begin. My eyes moved briefly to a podium nearby and there on the back shelf were some shiny keys. Her keys. So no quick memory jog.

Does God care when we misplace our keys? Well, sure. He cares about everything. Should we glut up the prayer network with trivialities? I used to think that we should not.

One lesson I have learned through Mike’s illness is that to my Father, nothing in my life is trivial. There are no big needs and little problems. Everything that makes up me is His concern. He wants me to trust Him to sort it out. He has not tasked me with cutting down His work load.

He longs for daily, hourly, moment-by-moment conversations with His child. He wants me to bring everything to Him in prayer. He has the biggest shoulders.

He also wants me to open my eyes to the blessings that He gives me, to the protection and love that flow from Him. If I don’t see it, it’s still there but it pleases Him when I ‘get it.’

Mike and I got knocked back on our heels with his diagnosis and prognosis. Whatever competencies we thought we possessed fell away as we faced a very different future than we had planned. And in that weakness, we fell into God’s loving arms, arms that wrapped us up tight and held us through our trial.

God demonstrated how much He cared for us, in so many ways. We came to recognize what we called HUGS from our Father. In our 4 plus years, as in any life, challenges came up, problems presented themselves. Perhaps it could go several ways. It always went the easiest way.

We came to hear God’s voice in this. Mike and I prepared, as much as we could, for Mike’s death. And God said to us, “You know what, Mike? I have one more thing for you to do before you come home. I’m going to pave the way by taking care of everything else. You concentrate on the task.”

And, as we walked through this hard thing, with God taking care of everything, we saw that He wants to handle everything.

So, we let Him. May I never forget this lesson. Life is sweeter when we cast it all on our Father.

What kind of HUGS? So Many.

Here’s just one.

When Mike was lying in the hospital, recuperating from the surgery that did not heal him, we talked a lot about how our lives had changed. We cried, we kissed, we cuddled, we talked.

I felt so helpless. I could do little to help my husband. At one point, he started listing all of the things he wished he had done in his life and this really cut into me. I had always tried to push him past those potential regrets….”Go ahead. DO IT,” was my chorus. So the motorcycles, boats, cars, guitars, etc. etc. And how foolish. Here, at what we thought was The End, he still had quite a list.

Many, but not all, were out of reach now. But one, for sure, was not.

“I wish I could get in a convertible and drive down Highway 1 to Key West.”

Wheels turning. THIS could happen, if we have the time. And as fall 2009 arrived, and he was still alive, I got busy with the plan. I secured airline tickets to Miami. I rented a convertible. I found a place for us to stay between Key West and Miami. We flew down, got the car, and started on our trek. Our first hint that this would not be ALL THAT was when we could not figure out how to lower the convertible top. It had been a while. We had to dig out the manual, locate the button AFTER we had raised the trunk….

Then, Miami was hot and crowded. We tooled through a lot of stop-and-go traffic. Once into the Keys, we remembered that the highway is single lane, two way. And, on this blistering day, road crews were busy so we sat some more in the heat.

I kept up a blithering chatter about how Mike was getting to do what he wanted. He tried to smile a lot but we were both falling out of love with this adventure.

Once we neared Key West, the sky opened up and rain poured down. Cold rain. Then, it slowed to a drizzle but by then, we were wet and shivering. So much for the convertible.

We realized that the idea of the drive was so much better than the reality. Thinking that I would be disappointed, Mike was slow to come to, “How about if we go back north?”

“Great idea. Where should we go?”

“We are flying out of Fort Lauderdale so let’s go there.”

It was a plan. But not much of one. We had no reservations and really no idea where we would land.

But God did. Who knew that with everything else on His agenda, our Father is in the concierge business?

We drove back north with a gorgeous full moon on the rise. It was getting late as we drove through Fort Lauderdale. A few miles north, the folks have incorporated the village of Lauderdale by the Sea. Small, quiet, and full up as it was.

EXCEPT, we saw a Vacancy sign flashing on a small two story building, surrounded by tall condos. As it was late, we pulled in.

The 6 space parking lot was deserted, the door was locked and there was a sign on the door:

Vacancy. Call ###-###-#### if you need a room.

We did. We did.

5 minutes later, a lady walked over with a key. She greeted us and said she was the manager. She let us in and, as we were the only guests, gave us her best room.

This little place, Courtyard Villa, used to be a private residence. It has 8 rooms and a large spa. The front door heads to the back door, locked now, which is 50 feet from the ocean. Our room….it became OUR room, has French doors that open to that ocean. We were so tired…we learned that we had keys for both doors and that the place would be open at 9 AM.

We entered the room, flung open the doors, and crashed into our bed, lulled by the swoosh of waves on sand.

It could not have been more perfect. We loved our time there and thanked God wistfully for giving us this gift of a final time at the beach.

Except it became 5 times. And we had a reservation for our anniversary.

Why did the Father direct us there? Why do we need an answer for that? It was a gift…no a hug….and one of many we received in the next four years.

 

This is how I roll.............

One of my favorite nieces asked one of my favorite siblings, "What is Aunt Lynne doing?"

I assume her questions has to do with my many along-the-road Facebook posts. In the last week, the burnt orange Caliber and I have logged 1765 miles, circling through Ohio, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, West Virginia, and then home.

(Sainted sister-in-law made room for one more dog: Ivy got to hang out with her buddies)

That doesn't completely answer the question.

Over the course of Mike's last 5 years, I latched on to a message board connected with The Dennis Miller Show. If you pay a few bucks, you get to be a 'premium member.' That means you can chat away with other fan boys about the show; you can also opine on politics, movies, sports, and etc.

I had just dipped my toe in and was learning the ropes....someone told me that the site uses 'ancient technology'....when our lives took a turn. And even though I was busy with helping to close the office, as well as caring for my guy, I escaped every once in a while to this message board. I became known as LynneB to kiddos all over the country...and even in Germany and S. Korea, and Canada.

The show and this site was a break from some very tense days. Then, as the tension lifted for a while, I was already there.

No where on the site does one's faith form a topic, but it doesn't take too long to pick up that someone is a believer, or an atheist, or whatever. Mainly, I had fun. And, to my surprise, I got to know these folks pretty well.

Eventually, there were PMs (private messages) and exchange of emails, and revelations of real names. I would say that I made some great friends in the DMZ (zone).

As Mike's illness progressed, some of theses friends found our blog; watched Mike's testimony; and prayed for us. On the day that Mike died, one friend called into the live show. Mr. Miller stopped the show and prayed for us on the air. Amazing.

Anyway, one thing I thought about for my post funeral days: I wanted to put some faces with some names. So, I've been traveling....Illinois, California, and my latest trek east....to meet my cyberfriends. I must say, it's a blast.

A "Grub" Shack

As I want to take them to dinner, most pick some unique place in their city. Many bring spouse and children and we have a party. So, that's what I've been doing.

So far, I've connected with 15 people. In November, I plan to meet at least two more. That will leave a few in New Hampshire, a few in Boston, and one special lady in Anchorage. I may have to wait until the winter passes for these. But those trips are penciled in.

On this last trip, I met in Milford with Jen at Copper Blue. I met 'Rafe" and his wife and boys and we supped at The Olive Tree, an authentic Mediterranean restaurant, in Columbus. Then, I was off to Erie and a dear brother, Dean, and his wife Shirley. What a treat! He was speaking in church on Sunday.

Cuba Libre

Then, off to Philadelphia and 'Gene in Philly.'  Gene is Gene Baretta, an author and illustrator of children's books. He arranged for his pal, a Ben Franklin expert, to stroll around with me in the historical downtown. Also, we ate at Cuba Libre: I learned that this is Bill Clinton's favorite restaurant when he's in town.

A few more stops and it was time to head back to Kokomo. Logging those miles wore me out but it was so much fun. I'm resting up for the next trek.

So, THAT's what Aunt Lynne (or whatever you call me)l is doing.

The New Meyers Household

I got invited to a wedding recently; a former student had found THE ONE, and asked me to share in their special day.

When I was younger, it was friends getting married. I’d join in as one soon-to-be-married or as one already married. Planning, party, promises.  All sorts of excitement. And every bride certain that her bridesmaids would be able to wear their dresses again.

Now, weddings feature children of friends or young people in my circle for other reasons. And my reaction is much different. When the bride and groom are believers, as is the case here, I can step back and take a longer view. No matter when they ‘found’ each other, sometime in an ancient past their Father knew that they would come together and pledge to love each other for life. And on this sunny summer evening, all is beautiful; all is perfect; everybody is smiling.

I found a blank card and penned: May your lives be filled shared joy. After all, it is not good for man to be alone.

 Later, Jesus compared Christ’s union with His church to a marriage. The apostles taught that husband and wife will share values and duties to the glory of God. 

I believe that when God orchestrates such unions, it is His will that joy be the primary product. There is joy, even when hard times come, when God is in the center.

Mike and I thought it was our idea. We chose each other. We formed a union, a team.  And, at the beginning, we saw only what we expected from our marriage. Certainly, it was social acceptance. Stability. Companionship. Financial security. Legitimate status within the community.

I figured that children and a home would be part of the deal. Not sure Mike looked that far ahead. But no matter. Neither of us really recognized then what we came to know so clearly: before the foundation of the earth, in the infinite past, God chose Mike for Lynne and Lynne for Mike. And God saw the path that our lives would take, both separately and together.

When we held hands on June 8, 1974, and repeated the vows, sure we knew the words: richer/poorer, in sickness and in health, for better and worse, until death do us part. But nobody was giving audience to poverty, illness, or death. And nobody was thinking about how far away death might be. We were signing up for life. What? 40 years is a lifetime when you are 23.

God saw the path of our 39 years. He knew that our first child, so carefully planned, would be stillborn. He knew we would weather this and would grow in our faith. He knew that we would grow closer together. He knew.

God knew that as we approached our 35^th anniversary, doctors would find metastatic cancer in my husband; God knew that this would knock us for a loop and then bring us into such a sweet time of fellowship with Him.

He knew that we would confound the medical community. He knew that as we prepared for Heaven, He had a task for Mike, one final job, before he got to walk the Streets of Gold. And so He prepared the way for us by equipping us with skills and tools that would make the task less daunting.

My prayer for this special couple is a life of happiness. That doesn’t always mean smiles. It can mean an adventure as a team. It can mean that, someday, they will look back and marvel at the path their Father had in mind.

Bless them and their union, Holy Father.

Ah Autumn

I have not fallen off the side of anything; at least, not lately. I AM nursing a slightly cracked metatarsal that made itself known when I twisted my ankle. I'm in an air boot for 8 weeks. Cute knee socks make it tolerable.

I've been meandering through my Kokomo house, sorting, selecting, gifting, and making decisions about what goes to the new residence and what stays here. By spring, I hope to be in one place and have this place ready to sell.

Up at the cottage, we've paved the driveway and replaced the deck. We'll be replacing some windows and adding a gas fireplace insert. It's getting homey.

I work..that's not really accurate...through closets and rooms, piling and discarding, sending and keeping. I pepper these tasks with travel. If you're with me on Facebook, you may know about this.

Over the years of Mike's illness, people reached out to me; besides my church family, neighbors, kin, and colleagues, there's a group of folks who came to our blog and/or made friends on the Dennis Miller message board. Although I had never met them in person, many have reached out to me and made themselves dear.

So, one thing I wanted to do, once Mike was safely home, was to travel and put faces with names. And that's what I've been doing.

Last month, I drove to Chicago and then to Springfield, meeting some friends. Later, spent a week with sister Kris in the Los Angeles area: six folks, including the crew at the radio studio, now have faces.

Soon, I'll swing through Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey: 5 more friends live there. I don't even wonder if this is creepy, strange, eccentric. It feels good. It IS good.

And, I continue to navigate the new path of my life. Quite often, a friend will say something like, "You know, I look up every once in a while and just expect to see Mike."

Yeah. Me, too. As we were closing, my very athletic husband could handle short strolls around our neighborhood. We live in a great place to walk. Just today, I rested on a bench in one of our pocket parks, just where Mike and I sat not so long ago. The trees are starting to turn but the view is much the same. It's sweetly sad and happy at the same time.

Also, the Holy Spirit keeps His presence close. I'm learning and growing.

Yesterday, I needed to make a trip to school. Although I planned it for a time when most students should be in class, I gathered a  lot of hugs. (What a great job I've had) Then, I stopped in a friend's room where tutoring was in progress. I found that I can drop by and help when I feel like it. And there's some more joy. It's the teaching part that I love. It's the teaching part that I miss.

(There's a lot more to being a teacher these days.)

So, for now, I'm taking care of business, cleaning out my house, and walking with my Lord. Thanks for your continued prayers. Our God is taking good care of me.

Still talking to me

 

Having lived with the hub for 39 years, and being his friend 4 years more, I was accustomed to sharing information with this man as I shared my life.

Now, as I clean out our home, I continue to learn more about him, and from him, in what were hidden messages and treasures.

Here and there: 18 tubes of lip balm...in pockets and drawers

17 small Mag lights…a favorite check-out purchase at home improvement stores

 12 nail clippers, 10 tweezers, 6 scissors…He was my love; he was NOT prone to put things back. He’d take what he needed, walk away, and then lay things down, wherever, when he was done.

Many, many bottles and cylinders of various extra strength OTC pain meds. He SO wanted to postpone those potent narcotics.

(I’ve yet to uncover extra forks and spoons. I believe these have left the building)

Then, at the bottom of a bathroom cabinet, I found one still-wrapped mouth sponge. There came a time when Mike would not get out of bed, ever again. One of my new tasks was to use sponges, soaked in water, to moisten his mouth. It was at this time that I became so very protective of his privacy and care…he did not want people to see him when this time came.

His pain medication took him to that state he had talked about so often…bedfast, no longer able to talk, not really aware of much. At the urging of the hospice people, I would sit at his side, stroke his arm or forehead, urge him to take some liquid, and talk to him quietly.

It was a brief, sweet, sad time we shared.

I turned the sponge over and over in my hand and remembered. Tears. And also joy that I could serve my husband I this way.

Another find, this time as I was sorting through books: God’s Inspirational Promises, by Max Lucado. It’s a small book, consisting of one-page excerpts from Lucado’s teaching. These are paired with several scripture verses.

I had picked this little book up, taking it with me when I had to get my brakes replaced. I planned to sit in the lounge and wait for my car. I figured that the short bits of wisdom would fill the time.

I started through the book, scripture on the left-hand side and excerpts on the right. I noticed, haphazardly, yellow scribbles through one of the verses on each page. The mark looked like a design.

On I moved. Again, the squiggled mark through one of the verse. The highlighted verse, by the way, was not the first passage on the page…sometimes the second; sometimes the fourth.

It wasn’t until I had read through 10 pages that I realized that the squiggles were Mike’s marks. Not the heavy, lined marks he usually made when he highlighted text. I was accustomed to seeing that. These marks were back and forth, scribbled.

And I realized that Mike had read through this booklet, one of many that gave him comfort and guidance, and had marked verses that spoke to him. God had ministered to my husband as he read this book.

And so, it was time to read again, much more slowly. Deliberate. And so, through this find, my dear sends forth a message to me.

And, since many of you loved my husband, I will share these with you, the topic and the highlighted verse.

Max Lucado’s God’s Inspirational Promises

COURAGE: Don’t worry because I am with you. Don’t be afraid because I am your God. I will make you know who holds your right hand, and I tell you, “Don’t be afraid. I will help you.”  Isaiah 41:10, 13

LOVE: The Father himself loves you; He loves you because you loved me and believed that I came from God.  John 16:27

HOPE: If God is with us, no one can defeat us. He did not spare his own Son but gave him for us all. So with Jesus, God will surely give us all things. Who can accuse the people God has chosen? No one, for God is the one who makes them right.   Romans 8:31-33

STRENGTH: Come to me, all who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Accept my teachings and learn from me because I am gentle and humble in spirit and you will find rest for your lives. The teaching that I ask you accept is easy and the load I give you to carry is light.  Matthew 11:28  29

GOD’S LOVE: Lord God All-Powerful, who is like you? Lord, you are powerful and completely trustworthy. Your kingdom is built on what is right and fair. Love and truth is in all you do.  Psalm 89: 8, 14

GOD’S FAITHFULNESS: Jesus will keep you strong until the end so that there will be no wrong in you on the day that our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. God, who has called you to share everything with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.   I Cor 1:8-9

GOD’S FORGIVENESS: If we confess our sins, he will forgive our sins because we can trust God to do what is right. He will cleanse us from all wrongs we have done.  I John 1:9

   and:  When the Lord All Powerful makes a plan, no one can stop it. When the Lord raises his Hand to punish people, no one can stop is.   Isa. 14:27

SUFFERING: I leave you peace my peace I give you. I do not give it to you as the world does. So don’t let your hearts be troubled or afraid      John 14:27

DOUBT: But if any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous and enjoys giving to all people so he will give you wisdom.   James 1:5

GOD’S COMFORT: Even if I walk in the very dark valley, I will not be afraid because you are with me. Your rod and your walking stick comfort me.          Psalms 23:4

GOD’S GRACE: You have been saved through faith by believing. You did not save yourself; it was a gift from God. It is not the result of your own efforts, so you cannot brag about it.  Eph. 2:8-9

 GOD’S POWER: I praise your greatness, my God the King. I will praise you forever and ever. I will praise you every day; I will praise you forever and ever. The Lord is great and worthy of our praise; no one can understand how great he is.  Psm 145:1-3

I can attest that Mike struggled. I know that he found peace. And, these verses give me the same peace. Our prayer would be that you will find peace today, too.

 

 

MELTDOWN

I've seen toddlers engaged in what their parents label a "meltdown." Back in the day, we used to call a temper tantrum...the child loses it and his control evaporates and he melts.....kick, scream, cry...all uncontrollably.

I'm a little old for a temper tantrum, but I know about a different kind of meltdown.

I took a little trip to New York. My plan was to walk all over Manhattan and then attend a play in the evening. My right foot had been bothering me...not too much, but enough that I noted that a trip to the doctor should happen in the future.

However, I stepped off a curb and turned my foot. Instantly, my little aggravation became a huge disabling injury. I was only a block from my hotel; I limped back and reported to the hotel medical guy. Yes, they had a team of EMTs at the Marriott.

One, Greg, helped me back to my room and examined my foot. "It's not bruised or swollen," he said. "You can go to the emergency room but I doubt that they'll do anything more than have you ice it and keep it elevated." As it turns out, I wouldn't have received all the TLC I got at the hotel.

He retrieved some ice in a blue plastic glove, wrapped my foot in a towel and arranged the ice bag. THIS would be my day in Manhattan....sitting in a very nice room with my foot up. the EMTs kept checking on me and bringing me coffee. By show time, my foot hurt less so I grabbed a cab and went to my play.

The next day, it was time to fly home and the NEXT day I was at the doctor when they unlocked the door. Yes, my foot is fractured. Yes, it should heal. Yes, I have an air cast. The doctor was quite curt in his discussion of my choice of footwear. I need less flexible soles.

My foot hurt but I needed to get to the lake. Up there, my nephew is in the process of building a new deck for the cottage. He was at the end of the 'tear down' phase. I'm not bothered by mess; I think it was the difference.

Back home and hobbling around on a hurting foot, I sat down to tackle my pile o' stuff: bills, correspondence, thank-you notes, and etc. I sorted it all out in front of me.

Then came the meltdown: I looked at an estimate bill that was to be paid in June. It's really not a big deal that I missed this. But I stared at DUE JUNE 15 and then my brain came crashing in.

A tear. Another, Then some sobs. Then some big sobs. And through all the precipitation, my mind went blank. I looked at my piles and went blank. I couldn't think what I should do. What are these? What am I supposed to do.

Sob sob sob............and a shudder that I was losing it....

I needed 2 minutes to drain all those tear ducts.....splashed some cold water on my face and sat back down. "Ok, I can pay the bills," I thought. "Maybe the rest will make sense after I finish that task."

I wrote checks and slip them into their envelopes, stamped them and piled them in the MAIL pile. I called my financial guy about the estimated payments. "No big deal," he said.

Finally the rest of the pile made sense and I could get caught up.

This a pride thing: I am not the all competent woman of my fantasy. And that's ok.